{"id":11634,"date":"2013-12-26T10:34:28","date_gmt":"2013-12-26T16:34:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=11634"},"modified":"2013-12-26T10:34:28","modified_gmt":"2013-12-26T16:34:28","slug":"eating-out-in-memphis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/eating-out-in-memphis\/","title":{"rendered":"Eating out in Memphis"},"content":{"rendered":"

By TED ROBERTS, the SCRIBBLER ON THE ROOF<\/em><\/p>\n

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Now we\u2019re sitting around in my daughter\u2019s den enjoying our kinship and total agreement on political and cultural matters. Consider I have three adult children, eight grandchildren, uncountable great-grandchildren. And they all like to eat. And they like to talk, but eating wins every time.<\/p>\n

Then suddenly somebody says those dreaded words, \u201cHey, it\u2019s 6:00 \u2013 I\u2019m hungry\u201d. Says it loudly, interrupting a fascinating discussion of Aunt Nellie\u2019s two divorces in two months. Everybody looks around. And I know what they\u2019re thinking: PAPA\u2019S GONNA PAY!<\/p>\n

There\u2019s usually a dozen or so \u201cHey, it\u2019s 6:00, I\u2019m hungry\u201d demonstrators. Most are
\nkids. The solid candidates for reception of the check are me and my three adult children who don\u2019t hesitate to buy a Mercedes, or its equivalent, every two years.<\/p>\n

At this point I have four choices:
\n1) \u201cI\u2019m not hungry, y\u2019all go. I\u2019ll stay here and watch the ballgame.\u201d
\n2) \u201cLet\u2019s all stay here and have a nice, golden plate of scrambled eggs.\u201d
\n3) I go, but forget my wallet.
\n4) I go and don\u2019t forget my wallet and consequently pick up a check the size of \u201cWar and Peace.”<\/p>\n

Sometimes I fight off the evil impulse by lapsing into a long speech about the joys of family togetherness. \u201cHow nice to sit together on this comfortable room with one\u2019s beloved family members \u2013 just reliving old times. Sure beats hanging out in a noisy restaurant.\u201d I no sooner pause for breath (a mistake) than son No. 1 (and smartest) says, \u201cYeah, we\u2019ll talk some more after supper \u2013 let\u2019s go eat\u201d.<\/p>\n

Time for me to play my final card. \u201cDaughter Dear, why don\u2019t you bring out those delicious cookies I saw in the kitchen.\u201d (Great appetite suppressors.) But it never works \u2013 this crowd wants red meat.<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019m in trouble. How to minimize it? One way is to bring up the latest article I read on dieting. I extoll the virtues of an all-salad diet \u2013 especially for supper. I try. But already the waitress
\nis at the far end of the table frustrating my plans for an all green supper.<\/p>\n

And why are they whispering \u2013 the waitress and my granddaughter? Why does a ten-year-old need five minutes with a waitress? I\u2019d rather she spent five minutes with a Bengal tiger. I overhear whispering of cashew-encrusted trout, Angus beef, and pat\u00e9 de foi gras<\/em>. And that\u2019s not all. I catch the phrase \u201capple pie with ice cream\u201d.<\/p>\n

Oh boy, this is gonna be a record breaker. And why didn\u2019t she start with me so I could set the standard with a small salad and maybe a toasted cheese sandwich? Well, by the time she gets to me, it\u2019s too
\nlate and I\u2019m wondering whether I should lose my wallet or have a coronary occlusion at check time. No, that wouldn\u2019t help. They\u2019d just extract my wallet, pay the bill, and leave a 40% tip.<\/p>\n

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