{"id":19145,"date":"2014-10-22T11:13:02","date_gmt":"2014-10-22T17:13:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=19145"},"modified":"2014-10-30T04:16:43","modified_gmt":"2014-10-30T10:16:43","slug":"margo-howard-dishes-on-her-four-marriages-three-of-them-jewish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/margo-howard-dishes-on-her-four-marriages-three-of-them-jewish\/","title":{"rendered":"Margo Howard dishes on her four marriages, three of them Jewish"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>By JULIE WIENER<\/p>\n<p>NEW YORK (JTA) &#8212; When your mother is the world\u2019s most famous advice columnist, you wouldn\u2019t think you\u2019d have to learn any lesson the hard way. But Margo Howard \u2014 daughter of the late Ann Landers and the niece of Landers\u2019 twin sister Dear Abby (nee Esther and Pauline Friedman) \u2014 had to marry four times before she finally felt she\u2019d gotten it right.<\/p>\n<p>In her new book, \u201cEat, Drink and Remarry: Confessions of a Serial Wife,\u201d the 74-year-old Howard, a Jewish former journalist and Slate\u2019s former \u201cDear Prudence\u201d advice columnist, details her matrimonial history and the adventures and lessons learned along the way.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_19316\" style=\"width: 250px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a title=\"Margo Howard\" href=\"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19316\" class=\"wp-image-19316 size-medium lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo-240x300.jpg\" alt=\"Margo author photo\" width=\"240\" height=\"300\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo-819x1024.jpg 819w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 240px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 240\/300;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19316\" class=\"wp-image-19316 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo-240x300.jpg\" alt=\"Margo author photo\" width=\"240\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Margo-author-photo-819x1024.jpg 819w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n<p id=\"caption-attachment-19316\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Margo Howard, author of \u201cEat, Drink and Remarry: Confessions of a Serial Wife.\u201d (Harlequin Publishers)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>One lesson she didn\u2019t need to learn was thrift: Thanks to her high-profile parents (her father, Julius Lederer, founded Budget Rent-A-Car) and high-earning hubbies (hotel investor, funeral director, actor\/TV star and heart surgeon), money has never been a concern. The book includes abundant descriptions of Rolls-Royces, boarding schools for her three kids (from marriage No. 1), live-in nannies, swanky vacations and celebrity-studded social gatherings.<\/p>\n<p>The memoir contains plenty of Yiddish phrasing and some Jewish revelations \u2014 like how her famous mother had long dreamed of her marrying a Jewish doctor.<\/p>\n<p>Howard \u2014 the surname comes from her third (and only non-Jewish) husband \u2014 spoke with JTA by phone from her Cambridge, Mass., home the day before Yom Kippur.<\/p>\n<p>JTA: I noticed three of your four husbands were Jewish. Was that a conscious decision? Did you care whether or not you married a Jew?<\/p>\n<p>Howard: In college [at Brandeis] I was allowed to date only Jewish boys. Mother said there was no reason to introduce difference and difficulty into a marriage. I was given an order, and we were so close that I was obeying that &#8212; at least until I got fixed up with Aga Khan, who was at Harvard. I said I was fixed up with an exchange student at Harvard. His name is Khan. What do you think?<\/p>\n<p>The interesting thing about husband No. 3 \u2014 Ken Howard \u2014 my mother was crazy about him. That caused her to change her view professionally that you should not marry out. She decided that if the people were not too invested in their religion \u2014 and we are cultural Jews \u2014 if you talked about it first and it didn\u2019t make a problem, it was OK.<\/p>\n<p>[The fact that my current husband is Jewish] was an accident. I would\u2019ve married him if he were a goy. He was just marvelous. And while Judaism hasn\u2019t been important to me, there\u2019s a certain comfort and familiarity culturally.<\/p>\n<p>Did you have any kind of Jewish upbringing?<\/p>\n<p>I have no Jewish education because during the Sunday school years we were living in a tiny town in Wisconsin. Our parents made an arrangement for a rabbinical student to come, but the weather was always too bad whenever he was supposed to come.<\/p>\n<p>Why do you think so many advice columnists are Jewish, particularly Jewish women \u2014 your mom, your aunt, yourself and Slate\u2019s Emily Yoffe, to name a few?<\/p>\n<p>It cannot be random that so many advice givers are Jewish. It must be something in the makeup of Jewish life that inclines our people to become advice mavens. It\u2019s likely some stew of family life, a desire to help, a need to be useful, an ability to pass on wisdom. And the yenta gene.<\/p>\n<p>If you could sum up your advice on marriage in one sentence, what would it be?<\/p>\n<p>Take your time. What\u2019s the hurry? My mother used to say that to me.<\/p>\n<p>Do you give marital advice to your children?<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t give them too much advice. If I care about something, I say it maybe once and then lay off. I understood from my own life \u2014 that which you learn that costs nothing has no value. Some things you\u2019ve got to do yourself or it has no meaning.<\/p>\n<p>Are you worried that by writing this book and saying that you\u2019ve finally found your \u201cDr. Perfect\u201d you\u2019ll jinx your current marriage?<\/p>\n<p>No. It\u2019s a function of getting old, I think. You know where you are. You have all that backlog of experience to fall back on. This is it. Death will end this marriage.<\/p>\n<p><em>(The interview with Howard was edited for length and clarity.)<\/em><\/p>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"Tumblr\",\"Email\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"Margo%20Howard%20dishes%20on%20her%20four%20marriages%2C%20three%20of%20them%20Jewish\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1884],"tags":[8790,8795,6228,8788],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19145"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19145"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19318,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19145\/revisions\/19318"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}