There\u2019s no question that the profession of Terah, father to the inventor of monotheism, was an embarrassment. He was in the idol business.<\/p>\n
You remember. (\u201cSo, Avram,\u201d asked his Hebrew school pals.\u00a0\u201cWhat\u2019s your papa do?\u201d
According to this bizarre midrash, Terah was a merchant and his goods, his inventory, was idols.\u00a0What a
Or Alexander Graham Bell\u2019s father had an exclusive line of megaphones.<\/p>\n
The midrash tells us that Terah leaves Avram in charge of the store and the young man, in a fit of righteousness, smashes the idols.\u00a0His explanation when Pop returns?\u00a0\u201cOh, the clay figures we call idols had a heckuva fight- and only this big guy is left!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0If you\u2019re an idol worshiper you gotta believe the story, right?<\/p>\n
But it reflects badly on Father Terah and it fails to explain his son\u2019s sudden insight. Since I, too, am the father of a righteous son, I prefer the following version.<\/p>\n
OK, Terah has this glitzy store in downtown Haran and one day leaves young Avram in charge.\u00a0\u00a0Sorta scary, thinks the child. It\u2019s dark and rainy outside and the gloom of the store is packed with dozens of dusty shapes who, according to their clientele, can bring life or death, riches or poverty.\u00a0Often Avram was in charge.\u00a0Like a good son, he helped his father.<\/p>\n
How often had the boy heard his pop\u2019s sales pitch?\u00a0\u00a0\u201cAvram, bring me that special mantelpiece carving of Gulak.\u00a0So powerful it requires minimal sacrifice.\u00a0\u00a0Notice, too, his pleasing shade of blue goes with almost any interior.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0And never did Terah consider the damage to this dutiful son\u2019s soul.<\/p>\n
So, today Terah appoints his son temporary manager of Idol Mart.<\/p>\n
\u201cWatch the store,\u201d says Terah as he goes out the door. What\u2019s to watch, thinks the young seller of idols.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m alone in here.\u00a0So, he cracks open a long papyrus scroll – it\u2019s a best seller, \u201cWhen Schmuel Met Rachel\u201d.\u00a0Appropriately, he has hidden it behind an idol of Astarte the Goddess of Love.
The molder of the universe has decided to take the pulpit in the education of Avram.
Young Avram, the only human in this room full of angry pottery was also the only one with a zipped lip.\u00a0He is awed by the garrulousness of his father\u2019s clay and wood products.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cPapa wouldn\u2019t believe this,\u201d he muttered to himself.\u00a0\u201cYou\u2019re only merchandise to dress up a pagan living room or decorate an otherwise drab and desolate bedroom.\u00a0You have no powers to bring rain, make the sheep fertile, grow the lush ears of corn, or push the river over its banks.<\/p>\n
Something else does that.\u00a0Who or what, I know not, but I strongly suspect it\u2019s not a clay figurine on a shelf.\u00a0But how is it that I hear you talking?\u00a0And such silly fiddle faddle as your price and location, and…\u201d<\/p>\n
Just then the door opened and in walked Terah, back from\u00a0\u00a0his errand.<\/p>\n
His son rushed into his arms.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cFather, Father, the idols were talking like you and me.\u00a0\u00a0I was frightened.\u00a0They talked like humans.\u00a0\u00a0Just now, the store was full of their voices.\u201d<\/p>\n
Terah looked deeply into the face of his only son whom he loved.\u00a0\u00a0This idol business was a good living, but not good enough to justify the corruption of this promising, but naive child who listened too closely to his old man\u2019s sales pitches.Dramatic maybe, even skillful.<\/p>\n
But harmless. Or so he thought. He was a marketer, not a worshiper of idols.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, his son continued to rant about these products of the village potter and their complaints.\u00a0\u201cYes, Papa, they all wanted to stand by the door.\u201d
Go stand immediately to the right of the entrance to the shop.\u201d\u00a0If Baal could have heard, he would have said \u201cyes sir\u201d and occupied the premier position.\u00a0\u00a0But since molded clay figures are deaf, dumb, immobile, he took not a step.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow disobedient,\u201d said Terah.\u00a0\u201cLet\u2019s give him a push.\u201d\u00a0So he did and all six feet of Baal fell flat on the floor and broke into three dozen pieces.\u00a0\u201cMaybe he was sick,\u201d said Terah; father and teacher.<\/p>\n
So, next he picked Delmonte, god of corn, beans, and vegetables. \u201cHere, let me help,\u201d he said.\u00a0\u00a0Another push – another job for the lady who swept out the store.\u00a0\u00a0On and on until the floor was ankle deep in pottery shards.<\/p>\n
\u201cAvram, they are only clay figures.\u00a0Idols are for selling, not worshiping;\u201d which to skip four millennia and several dimensions of realty, reminded me of my old boss, who owned a liquor store.\u00a0I, while attending college, was the night clerk.<\/p>\n
\u201cTeddy,\u201d he said, \u201cwhiskey\u2019s for selling, not drinking.\u201d<\/p>\n
![\"Ted_Roberts\"](\"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Ted_Roberts.jpg\")