{"id":26739,"date":"2015-10-30T15:51:46","date_gmt":"2015-10-30T21:51:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=26739"},"modified":"2015-10-30T15:53:37","modified_gmt":"2015-10-30T21:53:37","slug":"women-and-doctors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/women-and-doctors\/","title":{"rendered":"Women and doctors"},"content":{"rendered":"

By TED ROBERTS, the SCRIBBLER ON THE ROOF<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Ted_Roberts\"

Ah, the ideal mate, a doctor.<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t answer me that financial security is a piece of the puzzle. The typically Jewish CEO of a Big Box electronic start-up could buy three of four doctors. It goes deeper than that. I\u2019ve given the question much thought and decided that functionality plays a major role. One of your rambunctious kids threw a solid lead astray at you (you know how we Jewish parents pamper our kids) and broke your nose
\nin three places. (You lost two teeth, too, but that\u2019s irrelevant to our thesis.) Now who would you rather have as a mate, a nasal entologist who has spent ten years putting noses in a straight line or
\nthe CEO of Amalgamated Securities who would immediately start taking marginal bets on replacing the original, charming nose? Doesn\u2019t take long to answer. So, there\u2019s the immediate motive of family self-
\nsufficiency.<\/p>\n

But there\u2019s something more mysterious. Darker, deeper that goes back to Exodus days. I state it in its simplest form that every husband can verify. Women like doctors. Have you ever noticed that women
\n\u201cdress\u201d for their doctor? She wears jeans to her dentist, but her fanciest clothing to the clinic, where she\u2019s going to take off all her clothes. A waste of time, I say.<\/p>\n

And what really arouses my suspicions is that they love the visit. It beats shopping.<\/p>\n

Husband: \u201cHelen, where are you going? Why are you dressed for an interview with the Sultan of Brunei?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mate: \u201cI injured my finger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Husband: (Perplexed) \u201cDoes it hurt?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mate: \u201cNo, but it might.\u201d<\/p>\n

Most women have more checkups than the Space Shuttle. Periodic checkups are their fetish just when the tide of medical periodical maintenance is beginning to diminish. Colonoscopies, says the Journal
\nof Medical Fads, are fine, but we may be over-doing it because the doc \u2013 who may have over-celebrated the Kiddush with a bottle instead of a glass the night before – could poke a hole in this vital organ.
\nMammograms likewise. Everywhere in medical philosophy, we read of caution on frequency; infections, radiation, carelessness. Caution not cessation of course.<\/p>\n

And yet I know women who have a specialized doctor for every piece of their anatomy. You remember the early admonition \u201ccatch it early\u201d? And if you don\u2019t catch it keep on looking, you\u2019re bound to find
\nsomething.<\/p>\n

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