Many times throughout my life, I have felt like I was the mitzvah project\u00a0of the week,\u00a0like the community didn\u2019t really want me there, but knew including me was what they were supposed to do. I always felt like we were one step away from my face being on the community bulletin with a story reading something like \u201cWe did it! We included somebody with special needs! Be proud everyone. Be real proud.\u201d \u00a0OK, maybe that\u2019s a bit\u00a0of an exaggeration. But feeling like my presence was another\u2019s mitzvah made me feel even more like an outsider.<\/p>\n
People keep telling me their community is really working on their \u201ctolerance\u201d of those of us with special needs. I tolerate the weather in the winter. I tolerate the neighbor who is learning the drums. I tolerate going to the dentist. But none of these are things I like; they are things I know I have to deal with. But every person \u2014 whatever their unique gifts, whatever their limitations \u2014 has value, and\u00a0no one wants\u00a0just<\/em>\u00a0to be tolerated.<\/p>\n It is so important that we are aware of those who feel on the outside (disability or otherwise), and are putting programs and services in place to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to feel engaged and valued. It means doing things like tailoring the b\u2019nai mitzvah experience to cater to children of varying needs, and instilling in the community a mindset that being inclusive is everyone\u2019s role, not just those who have it in their job description. It\u2019s using preferred gender pronouns and celebrating\u00a0families of all shapes and sizes. It\u2019s making sure we are constantly\u00a0reevaluating our communal offerings, so we never become complacent.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s think about how we talk about inclusion \u2013 and make sure we are never \u201cothering\u201d anybody, be they people with disabilities or their families. Getting in the practice of \u201cyes and-ing\u201d as much as possible is a great way to start. That is, saying that yes, we want you and your family to be part of this community, and we want to partner with you to make sure that not only are your needs met, but that this is a place where you are cherished\u00a0and can fully participate. It\u2019s creating partnerships of synagogue leadership, teachers and families, and sometimes stepping outside our comfort zone to try something new.<\/p>\n Because when we have a community that appreciates\u00a0each person and what that person brings to the table, the entire community benefits. A fully inclusive community is celebrating the unique qualities that everyone brings to that table, creating a safer and stronger community \u2014 one of trust where people can be uniquely themselves.<\/p>\n Just opening your door is not a mitzvah; it\u2019s a start. What happens after the welcome is what really matters. It\u2019s the critical difference between being tolerated and being valued\u00a0\u2014 that difference is everything.<\/p>\n Watch Pamela Rae Schuller give an\u00a0Eli Talk<\/a>, “I Am Here, Hear Me Bark: Comedy, Disability, and the Inclusive Synagogue”<\/p>\n (Pamela Rae Schuller is a New York City-based inclusion advocate and stand-up comedian, probably because she sees the world from a different point of view: one where eye level is 4-foot-7 and barking without provocation is a completely normal and entertaining part of her day. Learn more about Pamela\u2019s work at\u00a0StandUpInclusion.com.)<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n (Editor’s Note: This article is part of a series tied to Jewish Disability & Inclusion Awareness Month that is part of our partnership with the\u00a0Ruderman<\/span>\u00a0Family Foundation. Guided by Jewish values, the foundation advocates for and advances the inclusion of people with disabilities throughout the Jewish community. To learn more, visit the foundation’s\u00a0website<\/a>.)<\/p>\n![\"Share](\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\")