{"id":28921,"date":"2016-03-11T17:40:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-11T23:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=28921"},"modified":"2016-03-11T17:40:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-11T23:40:00","slug":"wedding-trends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wedding-trends\/","title":{"rendered":"Wedding Trends"},"content":{"rendered":"

By TED ROBERTS, the SCRIBBLER ON THE ROOF<\/em><\/p>\n

\"Ted_Roberts\"

Have you noticed this new trend? I tell you this in case the thought crosses your short, but navigable mind. You say you\u2019re already married? No matter. Today it\u2019s easy to ring out the old, ring in the new, and get a brand new, fresh one who tells new jokes, wears new clothes, and has new fascinating faults. But be careful \u2013 she can do the same to you, too \u2013 and sometimes their timing is most inconvenient.<\/p>\n

But this new wedding trend \u2013 unpatented \u2013 free for you to use \u2013 is steadily growing. It goes by many names, the most prevalent of which is a \u201cBarn\u201d wedding. Or bucolic or farm or hayseed \u2013 all implying that the contractual arrangements take place in a rural area that has few public toilets, no paved streets, is hidden behind forests, and is impossible to find without the new model GPA \u2013 the MCMWAY \u2013 the \u201cMooCowMoo where are you\u201d system. Hotels and churches are out; barns, silos, irrigated fields are in. I even have a friend who proposed by whispering, \u201cmoo\u201d in his loved one\u2019s ear.<\/p>\n

I should know about this rural wedding trend. We attended one recently. I\u2019m a veteran of dozens of nuptial ceremonies. I mean as a guest, not a principle. If I had a dollar for every wedding I\u2019ve attended, I could buy a red barn of my own. Naturally, we got lost. Arrived late, which is actually a social bonus because if you make your way to the front rows disrupting the audience as the clergyman is speechmaking, everybody knows you drove fifty miles from civilization thereby missing the NFL game of the week, but elevating your social status to the penthouse suite.<\/p>\n

But for the sake of old friends we sacrificed and there we were in a big, red barn shivering with a couple hundred people who only got there in time because they had a MCMWAY system.<\/p>\n

The preacher paused to take a breath \u2013 the bride and groom quickly embraced \u2013 why listen to another twenty minutes of legal obligations. Another new trend in ceremonies \u2013 besides the attendance of cows, horses, pigs, and other legitimate inhabitants of the barn \u2013 is to bring a couple lawyers to protect their bridal clients. Watch, it\u2019s coming.<\/p>\n

But back to the present. The crowd, seizing opportunity, rushes for the open-air exits as the ceremony ends; correctly figuring that money saved by lack of a hotel ballroom would be extravagantly expended on food and drink. Right they were. In a separate barn a lavish reception awaited us. Not one, but two bars quenched our thirst. All that expense that used to go to a hotel chain filled our plates and glasses. (The animals were not allowed in the reception \u2013 they enviously nibbled grass in their surrounding fields.)<\/p>\n

Our food and drink were superlative.<\/p>\n

And most unusual, no lines at the bars.<\/p>\n

\u201cBest wedding I\u2019ve ever been to,\u201d I announced repetitively to anybody within thirty feet, who stopped to listen to this guy with a drink in each hand and a wife who loyally stood with two replacement beverages., I think a horse and two cows joined in the conversation, too.<\/p>\n

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