{"id":48298,"date":"2019-04-16T03:13:20","date_gmt":"2019-04-16T09:13:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=48298"},"modified":"2019-06-08T10:13:17","modified_gmt":"2019-06-08T16:13:17","slug":"new-the-passover-cheater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/new-the-passover-cheater\/","title":{"rendered":"The Passover Cheater"},"content":{"rendered":"

By ALAN SMASON<\/p>\n

Manny Greenberg was a Passover cheater<\/p>\n

And it pained him to know it was true<\/p>\n

\u2018Cause when Manny went searching for chometz<\/p>\n

He left in his icebox a brew.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Now to hear it from Manny, he would tell you<\/p>\n

It was just that he wanted that beer<\/p>\n

To stay cold during Passover season<\/p>\n

And he\u2019d hope that his reason was clear.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But to those of us who knew Manny<\/p>\n

We couldn\u2019t help but to snicker<\/p>\n

Manny was a year-round boozer<\/p>\n

Who loved to drink his liquor.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So when Manny would clean his house<\/p>\n

As Passover started to loom<\/p>\n

He removed all the chometz he\u2019d find,<\/p>\n

As he searched from room to room.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Out went the bottles of Bourbon,<\/p>\n

The Scotch and his supply of rye<\/p>\n

And out went the old Magen David<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to ask me <\/em>why.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It was just one, tiny little bottle,<\/p>\n

So harmless, he thought to himself.<\/p>\n

Surely, no one would care about that.<\/p>\n

So, my friends, he left it on the shelf.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But Manny neglected to tell Mama<\/p>\n

Who stopped by just before her seder<\/p>\n

A bottle of suds \u2013 that\u2019s forbidden.<\/p>\n

This she learned as a girl in her cheder.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cManny, what on earth has possessed you?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t you know that beer\u2019s not allowed?<\/p>\n

To think that your gray-haired mama<\/p>\n

Must remind you of what you\u2019ve avowed.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t have grains or leavened items;<\/p>\n

Things that rise are strictly taboo.<\/p>\n

So what on earth has possessed you to keep<\/p>\n

That bottle of Blackened Voodoo?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Manny couldn\u2019t answer Mama well<\/p>\n

And now that he finally was caught.<\/p>\n

The explanation he longed to reach for<\/p>\n

Was something he certainly sought.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But as hard as he tried he was dumbfounded<\/p>\n

\u201cIs there something inside of my head<\/p>\n

That makes me crave to keep alcohol<\/p>\n

And its loss is something I dread?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He kept thinking these things in silence<\/p>\n

But he now was above any shame.<\/p>\n

Manny knew in his heart he was wrong<\/p>\n

And he had no one else to blame.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI must learn to temper my actions<\/p>\n

And my drinking henceforth I\u2019ll subdue.<\/p>\n

Keep my passions in check like the chometz<\/p>\n

Moderation is what I\u2019ll pursue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the blink of an eye and with time to spare<\/p>\n

Manny reached for the brew made from grain<\/p>\n

With an opener he popped its pop top<\/p>\n

And poured those suds down the drain.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll be better, Mama. Thank you,\u201d he told her<\/p>\n

Your shikhur son at Pesach will be fine.<\/p>\n

I will give up the beer and all the boozin\u2019<\/p>\n

And will concentrate now just on wine!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a92019 Alan Smason<\/p>\n

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