{"id":54123,"date":"2020-03-10T08:34:28","date_gmt":"2020-03-10T14:34:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=54123"},"modified":"2020-03-10T08:34:28","modified_gmt":"2020-03-10T14:34:28","slug":"op-ed-a-year-ago-i-went-public-with-my-metoo-moment-purim-reminds-me-of-all-we-havent-learned","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/op-ed-a-year-ago-i-went-public-with-my-metoo-moment-purim-reminds-me-of-all-we-havent-learned\/","title":{"rendered":"OP-ED: A year ago, I went public with my #MeToo moment. Purim reminds me of all we haven\u2019t learned."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>By SHEILA KATZ<\/p>\n<p>WASHINGTON (JTA) \u2014 As we approach the Purim holiday, we also approach the one-year anniversary of my own going public&nbsp;about being sexually harassed by mega-philanthropist Michael Steinhardt. Over the past year, as the Jewish community has reckoned with the #MeToo movement, I\u2019ve reflected on the people and systems who create the conditions that allow abuse to take place.<\/p>\n<p>Much&nbsp;has&nbsp;been&nbsp;written in the last few years about how the #MeToo movement implicates the Book of Esther \u2014 how the chief perpetrator of harm, the king, assaults and makes light of his behavior; how the queens Vashti and Esther are forced to deal with the sexual demands of a man who holds the power to kill them, and the calculations each make about their survival. But we\u2019ve heard less about the men who put them in that position: the enablers who ask women go along with abuse. The Mordechais of the story. And these days, there are still too many King Ahashveruses and Mordechais.<\/p>\n<p>A reminder: The story of Purim is traditionally understood with only one villain, a man named Haman, who sets out to destroy the Jewish people. The story opens, however, with Ahashverus deposing his queen, Vashti, for refusing to \u201cdisplay her beauty\u201d (Jewish commentators suggest the demand was for her to arrive naked) at a party of drunk men. Esther, one of the \u201cbeautiful young virgins,\u201d then visits the palace for what was likely less a beauty contest than sexual audition.<\/p>\n<p>Before we\u2019re even introduced to the future Queen Esther, we meet Mordechai, who is officially her cousin and unofficially her guardian. He coaches her on what to say and do, and tells her he\u2019ll keep watch to ensure she is all right \u2014 but he doesn\u2019t live up to that promise.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Mordechai, doubtless aware of Vashti\u2019s story, knew what the king was capable of. Either he was comfortable with Esther being in that position or didn\u2019t want to jeopardize his own power to help her. Similarly, many in the Jewish establishment knew about Steinhardt\u2019s 40-plus-year reputation as a serial harasser. Yet they did not warn me in advance of the work meeting at which he propositioned, degraded and humiliated me.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I spoke to more than 10 people who could have alerted me to Steinhardt\u2019s horrific and illegal behavior in advance of that meeting. Within minutes and days, I told each of them what happened. No one was surprised. One person responded, \u201cAt least he didn\u2019t ask you to sit on his lap.\u201d Another advised me to \u201cwear a shorter skirt\u201d next time to secure more funds. And one of the people to whom I was supposed to report harassment told me it \u201cwas part of the job.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>This lack of responsibility from individuals I worked with caused me even more trauma. At times it was more painful than the harassment itself. I never expected Steinhardt to apologize (he still hasn\u2019t) and I never expected him to grow and learn. However, like many victims of workplace harassment, I did expect more from my peers and superiors.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>We have begun to believe women who are sexually harassed and assaulted, and point fingers at the \u201ckings\u201d and perpetrators of harm. This is a major and positive shift: Just last week,&nbsp;Harvey Weinstein was found guilty of rape&nbsp;in a historic trial. And on the mainstage of a presidential debate, former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg was put to the test about his own behavior that resulted in lawsuits and non-disclosure agreements.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re also seeing a Mordechai being held accountable \u2014 philanthropist Les Wexner (full disclosure: I was a Wexner fellow). Wexner is not accused of assault, but rather of allowing a harmful culture to persist. While there is much we don\u2019t know about Wexner\u2019s knowledge of the abuse attributed to his longtime associate Jeffrey Epstein or the allegations of harassment at Victoria\u2019s Secret, one thing we know for certain is that until now, his role in these scenarios would not have been a topic of conversation. The fact we are discussing it acknowledges that we expect those in positions of power to intervene.<\/p>\n<p>This makes sense. Why should only the survivors have to put their bodies on the line to create change?&nbsp;<br \/>\nIf enough Mordechais critically examine their behavior, listen to survivors and speak out on our behalf, the culture will begin to shift. They can find the tools they need in Jewish text: the process of \u201cteshuvah,\u201d which requires not only recognizing a sin but truly reconciling with it, and the mandate not to be a bystander or stand idly by. This is difficult work.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It means not looking the other way. It means no more open secrets. It means making everyday choices to be an&nbsp;ally to the most vulnerable in our workplaces&nbsp;and communities. And yes, sometimes it means giving up power by doing what is right.<\/p>\n<p>The reckoning of the #MeToo movement is only the beginning of the conversation. For our communities to shift and attitudes to change, we must also question our foundational stories. We must question why Mordechai is often extolled as the Purim story\u2019s hero rather than an enabler of abuse.<\/p>\n<p>We must reinterpret this story to show that blurring the lines of good and evil, as we are instructed to do on Purim, requires an openness to look at the people we have long connected with to see a different side.<\/p>\n<p>In a pivotal scene in the Book of Esther, Mordechai pressures Queen Esther to risk her life by approaching King Ahashverus to intervene on behalf of the Jewish people. For, he&nbsp;says, \u201cwho knows, perhaps you have come to this position of privilege for such a moment as this.\u201d If only Mordechai had taken his own advice.<\/p>\n<p>Others still can.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div style=\"padding-bottom:20px; padding-top:10px;\" class=\"hupso-share-buttons\"><!-- Hupso Share Buttons - https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/ --><a class=\"hupso_toolbar\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hupso.com\/share\/\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/buttons\/share-medium.png\" style=\"border:0px; padding-top: 5px; float:left;\" alt=\"Share Button\"\/><\/noscript><\/a><script type=\"text\/javascript\">var hupso_services_t=new Array(\"Twitter\",\"Facebook\",\"Google Plus\",\"Pinterest\",\"Linkedin\",\"Tumblr\",\"Email\");var hupso_background_t=\"#EAF4FF\";var hupso_border_t=\"#66CCFF\";var hupso_toolbar_size_t=\"medium\";var hupso_image_folder_url = \"\";var hupso_url_t=\"\";var hupso_title_t=\"OP-ED%3A%20A%20year%20ago%2C%20I%20went%20public%20with%20my%20%23MeToo%20moment.%20Purim%20reminds%20me%20of%20all%20we%20haven%E2%80%99t%20learned.\";<\/script><script type=\"text\/javascript\" src=\"https:\/\/static.hupso.com\/share\/js\/share_toolbar.js\"><\/script><!-- Hupso Share Buttons --><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,1991],"tags":[9164,8790,8795,8788,8863],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54123"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":54125,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54123\/revisions\/54125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}