{"id":58417,"date":"2020-12-11T18:23:10","date_gmt":"2020-12-12T00:23:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/?p=58417"},"modified":"2020-12-11T18:23:43","modified_gmt":"2020-12-12T00:23:43","slug":"off-the-pulpit-the-good-enough-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.crescentcityjewishnews.com\/blog\/off-the-pulpit-the-good-enough-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Off the Pulpit: The Good Enough Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

By RABBI DAVID WOLPE<\/p>\n

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As a Rabbi I have often seen the reverse. Children whose parents are at the end of life blame themselves for not being there for aging parents at every minute. Many who have spent days or weeks by the bedside of an aging parent are unable to be there at the exact moment of death and beat themselves up over this presumed omission.<\/p>\n

I would like to extend Winnicott\u2019s idea of the good enough parent to \u201cthe good enough child.\u201d The Torah teaches \u201cDo not cast me off when I am old\u201d (Ps. 71:9). That is sane and sage and compassionate. It does not say that you must be devoted unfailingly to care for an aging parent. We are flawed creatures with multiple responsibilities and confusing choices. Neither parents nor children have to be perfect; they can, without guilt, be good enough.<\/p>\n

(Rabbi David Wolpe is the senior rabbi of Sinai Temple in Los Angeles.)<\/em><\/p>\n

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