<\/span><\/p>\nI recently came across a passage in a book by a man I admire. His name was Rabbi Yitzchak Yaakov Reines (1839-1915). He was the head of a very innovative yeshiva<\/i> in Lida, Lithuania, and was one of the founders of the Mizrachi Religious Zionist movement. He was a prolific writer, and one of his works is entitled Nod Shel Demaot<\/i>, which translates as \u201cA Flask of Tears.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n In this book, Rav Reines writes about the important role that mothers play in the development of their children\u2014sons and daughters alike. He emphasizes the role of the mother in the development of the Torah scholar. He claims that it is not only the father\u2019s teaching that motivates and informs the budding Jewish leader. Rather, it is the mother\u2019s feminine intuition and maternal compassion that are, at the very least, equally formative.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span>The sources of his thesis include a verse from this week\u2019s Torah portion, Parshat Yitro<\/i> (Exodus<\/i> 18:1-20:23), in which we read that the Lord called to Moses from the mountain and said, \u201cThus shall you say to the house of Jacob and declare to the children of Israel\u2026you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation\u2026\u201d (ibid <\/i>19:3-6).<\/span><\/p>\n The Midrash explains that \u201cthe house of Jacob\u201d refers to women and \u201cthe children of Israel\u201d to men. Both men and women must be involved if we are to become \u201ca kingdom of priests and a holy nation.\u201d \u201cWhy the women?\u201d asks the Midrash, and answers, \u201cBecause they are the ones who can inspire their children to walk in the ways of Torah.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nRav Reines adduces another biblical verse to make his point. He refers to the words in the very first chapter of the Book of<\/i> Proverbs<\/i>, in which King Solomon offers this good counsel: \u201cMy son, heed the discipline (mussar<\/i>) of your father, and do not forsake the instruction (Torah<\/i>) of your mother\u201d (Proverbs<\/i> 1:8). From this verse, it seems that the mother\u2019s message may be even more important for the child\u2019s guidance than that of his father. After all, father merely admonishes the child with words of \u201cdiscipline,\u201d whereas mother imparts nothing less than the \u201cinstruction\u201d of the Torah itself<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\nThen comes the tour de force<\/i> of Rav Reines\u2019 essay: the biographical analysis of a great Talmudic sage, Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya. The student of Ethics of the Fathers <\/i>(Pirkei Avot<\/i>) will recognize his name from a passage in Chapter Two of that work. There we read of the five disciples of Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai. They are enumerated, and the praises of each of them are recounted. Of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya, we learn, \u201cAshrei yoladeto<\/i>, happy is she who gave birth to him.\u201d Of all the outstanding disciples, only Rabbi Yehoshua\u2019s mother is brought into the picture. What special role did she play in his life that earned her honorable mention<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\nRav Reines responds by relating an important story of which most of us are sadly ignorant. The story is recorded in Bereshit Rabba<\/i> 64:10. It tells of a time, not long after the destruction of the Second Temple by Rome, when the Roman rulers decided to allow the Jewish people to rebuild the Temple. Preliminary preparations were already under way for that glorious opportunity when the Kutim<\/i>, usually identified with the Samaritan sect, confounded those plans. They maligned the Jews to the Romans and accused them of disloyalty. The permission to rebuild was revoked.<\/span><\/p>\n Having come so close to realizing this impossible dream, the Jews gathered in the valley of Beit Rimon with violent rebellion in their hearts. They clamored to march forth and rebuild the Temple in defiance of the Roman\u2019s decree<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\nHowever, the more responsible leaders knew that such a provocation would meet with disastrous consequences. They sought for a respected figure, sufficiently wise and sufficiently persuasive, to calm the tempers of the masses and to quell the mutiny. They chose Rabbi Yehoshua ben Chananya for the task.<\/span><\/p>\nThe Midrash quotes Rabbi Yehoshua’s address in full detail. He used a fable as the basis of his argument: A lion had just devoured its prey, but a bone of his victim was stuck in his throat. The lion offered a reward to anyone who would volunteer to insert his hand into his mouth to remove the bone. The stork volunteered, and thrust its long neck into the lion\u2019s mouth and extracted the bone.<\/span><\/p>\nWhen the stork demanded his reward, the lion retorted, \u201cYour reward is that you can forevermore boast that you had thrust your head into a lion\u2019s mouth and lived to tell the tale. Your survival is sufficient reward.\u201d So, too, argued Rabbi Yehoshua, our survival is our reward. We must surrender the hope of rebuilding our Temple in the interests of our national continuity. There are times when grandiose dreams must be foresworn so that survival can be assured.<\/span><\/p>\nRav Reines argues that this combination of cleverness and insight into the minds of men was the result of his mother\u2019s upbringing. The ability to calm explosive tempers and sooth raging emotions is something that Rabbi Yehoshua learned from his mother.<\/span><\/p>\nHe was chosen for this vital role in Jewish history because the other leaders knew of his talents, and perhaps even knew that their source was to be traced back to his mother, of whom none other than Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai had exclaimed, \u201cHappy is she who gave birth to him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nThis wonderful insight of Rav Reines is important for all of us to remember, particularly those of us who are raising children. Psychologists have long stressed the vital roles that mothers play in child development. In our religion, we put much stress on the father\u2019s role in teaching Torah to his children. But we often underestimate, and indeed sometimes even forget, the role of the mother.<\/span><\/p>\nOur tradition urges us to embrace the role of the mother not just in the child\u2019s physical and emotional development, but in his or her spiritual and religious growth as well<\/span> <\/span><\/p>\nWe would do well to remember that Rav Reines is simply expanding upon God\u2019s own edict to Moses at the very inception of our history: \u201cSpeak to the house of Jacob! Speak to the women as well as to the men.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\nMothers, at least as much as fathers, are essential if we are to create a \u201ckingdom of priests and a holy nation.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n
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