Rabbis Dave Levy and Rachel Ain and their two sons, Jared and Zachary, at the University of Texas, where Jared is a member of the class of 2027. (Courtesy)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
We tried to breathe and remind ourselves of two important points. First, this was our son\u2019s challenge, not ours. Ultimately, he will need to navigate these challenges \u2014 and so many we haven\u2019t even imagined. Had we prepared him to do that? This question led to the second point: Everything he needs to face these challenges he learned at synagogue. <\/p>\n
Obviously, there is some hyperbole in this kind of sweeping statement. We are grateful for many valuable experiences, including a wonderful Jewish day school, excellent summer camp experiences and Israel travel. We are also in awe of the dedicated Hillel professionals on many campuses who support our students. Still, I would argue that our family\u2019s commitment to attending synagogue regularly taught our sons a world of lessons. I don\u2019t just say this because both of their parents are rabbis (I imagine that created a host of challenges that they will one day write about). I believe this is true of all the active \u201cshul kids\u201d in our community. <\/p>\n
So, what were those lessons?<\/p>\n
How to speak to people of all ages. Synagogues are unique places for intergenerational interactions. Our kids would seek out their friends each week, but after services, we always found them at tables interacting with adults and seniors in the community. Whether talking about their favorite sports teams or the latest headlines, we always appreciate that the children learned how to articulate their thoughts and listen to others. This kind of interaction is a real-world skill that we know will serve our students well in college. Countless faculty, advisors, staff and friendly adults are available to support our students wherever they go. Their ability to comfortably navigate and make the most of those interactions will take them a long way.<\/p>\n
How to sit with people you disagree with. This is an essential lesson for all of us. Synagogues comprise people who share their Jewish beliefs but not necessarily their politics. Over these last few contentious years, we have seen that people have a lot of difficulty sharing space with those with whom they disagree. We are proud that our children learned that, despite our differences, people in our community shared a common faith, which was a place to start. We could wish those across the aisle (pun intended) a \u201cShabbat shalom,\u201d and save the arguing for the way home. These lessons are crucial; our students won\u2019t share the same beliefs as all their teachers or classmates, but they know that we need to find the common humanity in those we disagree with so we can encounter each other with patience, care and understanding.<\/p>\n
The importance of standing up for Judaism and Israel. With the rise of antisemitism and anti-Israel sentiments, it is as important as ever for our students to know how to advocate for the Jewish community and to have a sense of pride in who they are. Our synagogue had swastikas spray painted on our doors a few years back. Our congregation\u2019s children were encouraged to attend the solidarity service that night. Every seat was filled with our members and our caring neighbors. Our children learned a few valuable lessons that night. First, antisemitism is unacceptable and should never be tolerated or brushed off. Second, we have allies who care about us and will stand with us. Third, and perhaps most important to our students, is showing up when your community needs you. It was not lost on anyone at that service that everyone \u2014 synagogue members, Jewish community members, leaders from the greater community \u2014 was at that service. Our students must show up for each other on campus when hatred rears its ugly head. This imperative to show up is true for Israel, the Jewish community and anyone else who is targeted. <\/p>\n
Caring for others. Children who grow up in synagogue learn how a community cares for its people. Each week, they hear a \u201cMi Sheberach\u201d list, where the names of those who are ill are shared, and remember that there are people who need visiting or friendly calls. They know from shiva that we take time and sit with those suffering from loss. Our students going off to live in a community of their peers will be ready by knowing both that we need to and how to care for others. <\/p>\n
There are countless other lessons: \u201cattend the guest lecture,\u201d \u201cwelcome strangers,\u201d \u201cdress neatly on special occasions,\u201d \u201cdon\u2019t sit in so and so\u2019s seat.\u201d There are certainly others that we haven\u2019t realized yet. What we recognize, though, is that despite reports to the contrary, the synagogue remains an essential building block of the Jewish community and the formation of thoughtful, caring young adults.<\/p>\n
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of JTA or its parent company, 70 Faces Media.<\/p>\n
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