For my most recent columns, I have focused on the teaching of that sector of the Mussar Movement known as Nevardek. One of this movement\u2019s major adherents was Rav Yosef Yoisel Horovitz zt\u201dl<\/em>, who established his yeshiva<\/em> in the town in Lithuania by that name. Popularly, he was called the Alter<\/em>, or \u201cOld Man,\u201d of Nevardek.<\/p>\nHe and his numerous students and followers advocated a relatively extreme program for attaining ethical and spiritual perfection, particularly with reference to teshuva. <\/em>I was first exposed to the Nevardek methodology when I studied with a tutor in my adolescence. I was later influenced by another Nevardek alumnus named Rav Chaim Zeitchik whose lectures I was privileged to hear and whose copious writings I still study, especially at this time of year.<\/p>\nSuffice it to say that Nevardek demands a lot from those who choose to follow its path. It expects its adherents to have great self-control, meticulous conformity to halachic stringencies, and absolutebitachon<\/em>, trust, in the Almighty.<\/p>\nSeveral of you have given me feedback after reading those recent columns of mine. They felt, understandably, that the examples I presented of the Nevardek approach set the bar too high. Some insisted quite vigorously that Nevardek\u2019s standards were too harsh and unrealistic for most.<\/p>\n
So, in today\u2019s column, I will present several examples of Nevardek\u2019s \u201cgentler\u201d messages, drawn from two of Rav Zeitchik\u2019s essays on this week\u2019s Torah portion, Ki Tetzei<\/em> (Deuteronomy 21:10\u201325:19).<\/p>\nAs a first example, I suggest that we focus on a passage in this week\u2019s parsha<\/em> that is, at first glance, quite harsh. It reads:<\/p>\n\u201cIf man has a wayward and defiant son, who does not heed his father or mother and does not obey them even after they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the public place of his community. They shall say to the elders of his town, \u2018This son of ours is disloyal and defiant; he does not heed us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.\u2019 Thereupon the men of his town shall stone him to death\u2026\u201d (ibid. 21:18-21).<\/p>\n
Rabbi Zeitchik is troubled by the extreme punishment meted out for what seems to be minor delinquency. He is somewhat encouraged, however, by the ruling cited in the Talmud (Sanhedrin<\/em>88b), which insists, \u201cThe wayward and defiant son whose parents wish to forgive him may do so.\u201d Thus, they can prevent his terrible punishment.<\/p>\nRabbi Zeitchik then shares a powerful question raised by the Chassidic Rebbe of Sochachov, author of Shem MiShmuel<\/em>: We are taught that the wayward son is not punished merely for disobeying his parents. Rather, he is punished so severely because of what his behavior will ultimately lead to. Al shem sofo<\/em>\u2014because of his eventual end\u2014his seemingly minor misconduct is expected to turn him into a murderous bandit and a danger to society. If the purpose of the punishment is to protect society, what right do his parents have to forgive him?<\/p>\nRabbi Zeitchik\u2019s response is nothing less than delightful! He argues that the parents forgive him because they know their son better than anyone else. They believe he can change. They see his better self\u2014his capacity not only to overcome his waywardness and defiance, but to grow into an exemplary adult, perhaps even a blessing to society.<\/p>\n
The \u201cgentle\u201d message here is twofold, with implications for child-rearing and with a theological teaching as well. For child-rearing, Rabbi Zeitchik makes us aware that parenting involves not only knowing the child as he or she is at any given moment. Rather, it entails the ability to see, and to help shape and direct, the child\u2019s potential. Don\u2019t judge your children as who they are, but rather as who they can become.<\/p>\n
The theological teaching is Navardek\u2019s gentle message for those of us who, especially at this time of year, struggle with the process of teshuva<\/em>. We are often paralyzed by guilt, by the recognition of our shortcomings and failures, which lead to despair, to the surrender of the possibility of self-improvement.<\/p>\nRabbi Zeitchik assures us with these words: \u201cOnly the merciful Holy One Blessed Be He, who created and sustains the human heart and knows its dark secrets, who searches out our hearts on the Day of Judgment, who uncovers our hidden strengths, who espies hidden potential, can thereby acquire \u2018servants\u2019 of whom He can take pride.\u201d<\/p>\n
A second example of Nevardek\u2019s \u201cgentler\u201d message in this week\u2019s parsha <\/em>is drawn by Rabbi Zeitchik from these two passages:<\/p>\n\u201cYou must fulfill what has crossed your lips and perform what you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God, having made the promise with your own mouth (ibid. 23:24).\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFor this applies to all mankind: that God will call every creature to account for everything unknown, be it good or bad (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).\u201d<\/p>\n
Rabbi Zeitchik eloquently expresses what he derives from the above two passages. He writes:<\/p>\n
\u201cJust as the Lord judges Man for the evil that lies within him, unconscious motivations and passions of which he is unaware, so too does the Lord consider the good which lies within Man, the suppressed light which he does not reveal, the great potential which he fails to develop. Man is responsible to ferret out his evil propensities, and, perhaps even more so, he must search in himself for the good within him of which he is barely aware and never activates.\u201d<\/p>\n
The second \u201cgentle\u201d message, as I understand it, is this: Each of us has both a yetzer hara<\/em> and a yetzer tov<\/em>\u2014dark urges and motives, as well as noble and compassionate ones. We are often unaware of their presence, let alone their influence on our conduct. Teshuva<\/em> calls for introspection and self-searching: uncovering the hidden forces within us, including those that are undesirable or even harmful. But even more important is the task of discovering the hidden resources that can help us grow ethically, morally, and spiritually\u2014for our own fulfillment and for the benefit of others, perhaps even all humankind.<\/p>\nA New Year is approaching. Let us greet it with these gentle messages in mind. Many more are available, if only we open ourselves to hear them. Shana Tova!<\/em><\/p>\n
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