NEW! The Passover Seder
THE FOOTBALL SEDER
After autumn and football season was over
And spring was about to arrive
The thought of attending Sheryl’s seder
Was the big buzz on Airline Drive.
The Black and Gold were all now clamoring
For a possible invitation
To gather at the table of the biggest fans
In all of the Who Dat Nation.
Sean Payton was excited about Passover.
You could see he was losing his cool.
“I can’t wait to attend her seder,” he said
Her brisket makes me want to drool.”
The coach had heard of her gefilte fish
That she grinds from speckled trout
“I’m a Who Dat,” Sean shouted for all to hear
“About that there is no doubt.”
“But trout? No whitefish? No pike?” he asked
“Who ever heard of such a thing?
But when you taste it – oy yeh!” he said
“You mouth will want to sing!”
Hearing his coach kvell in that way
Made Alvin Kamara curious.
“Why wasn’t I invited?” the running back asked.
The oversight made him furious.
So Alvin was mad and Sean was still edgy.
Marshawn Latimore let out a scream
“I’m jonesing for matzah ball soup,” he cried
With those bowls full of aromatic steam.”
Marcus Colston dreamed about matzah balls
“I hear that they’re light and fluffy.”
“Yes,” said, the coach, “But don’t worry, my son,
You’ll find they are not too stuffy.”
“I don’t need saucers of that salt water
To recall the tears the Jews had shed”
Like the Who Dats don’t need no bags on their heads!”
Was the thing Jameis Winston next said.
In the locker room Erik McCoy was in shock.
To his teammates he had listened intently.
“Neither you or Taysom is going to go.
You can’t get your snap without me.”
“I heard that her turkey is succulent and juicy
After twelve years they won’t let me punt.
I need some dark meat and gravy right now!”
Uttered sad Will Lutz with a grunt.
But then through the locker room’s doors
Came a rumble – the room started to shine
There emerged a figure of a fiery god
And on his chest was the number nine.
“Hey, gang, there are three little guys and a gal
They are mine and they are also Brittany’s.
We all need invitations to go,”
Implored the retired Drew Brees.
Before you could say “Next year in Jerusalem,”
Dr. Anthony Fauci came in the scene
“There’s no way you can go to seder my friends
Without your COVID vaccine.
“Sheryl runs a tight ship at her seder
And she wants everyone to plotz
But you won’t get an invitation this year
Unless you’ve had your shots!
So, the Saints who had not been vaccinated
Including the coach left the room
And Drew Brees is asking on behalf of his team:
“Is it possible to attend via Zoom?”
©2021 Alan Smason