NEW! The Musical Seder
THE MUSICAL SEDER
By ALAN SMASON
I just got a Passover invitation
From Shlomo, a famous musician.
He invited me to come to his seder
With my father, who is his physician.
Shlomo’s house is clean and immaculate
With a feather and a candle, he did comb
All the cracks and crannies where crumbs may lie,
So there’s no chometz found in his home.
But what makes Shlomo’s seder so special,
What makes Shlomo start to kvell
Is that his is a musical seder
That begins with the ring of a bell.
That dinner bell signals the beginning
Of a procession of musical foods
That are sure to bring satisfaction
And put guests in the best of good moods.
The Haggadah that Shlomo hands out
Is covered in musical notation
When we read the story of the Exodus,
“Dayenu!” we shout in exultation.
While others are published by Maxwell House,
Shlomo’s Haggadahs are printed by Steinway
The builders of grand concert pianos
And this puts us in a fine way.
Once the gefilte fish is set out
On the finest of Lalique glass dishes
You will hear “Oop doo diddle and a waddle”
The song of the “Three Little Fishes.”
Shlomo’s matzoh balls are so light
In waltz time they do float
In special ceramic soup bowls
Shaped like a musical whole note.
If you taste of Shlomo’s soup,
He’ll insist you must have wine
In unison spoons must be slurped
Together In three-quarter’s time.
Shlomo teases that Beethoven’s wife
Was Jewish, according to halacha
She laughed with just four notes
And he emphasizes “Ha…ha…ha..haaa.”
(Mimic opening notes of Symphony No.5)
That brings us to the entrée
For our most melodic gathering
Atop his brisket he has “au jus”
A gravy you’ll be slathering.
Your heart will increase suddenly
As you chew with a disco beat
And everyone at Shlomo’s seder knows
You cannot beat his meat.
For the final food Shlomo offers
An afikomen like no other
It’s a jazzy matzah from a recipe
He got from his grandmother.
She taught him to bake it with love and care
And to make sure it did not rise
She sang “The Saints” and drummed on spoons
And occasionally would improvise.
At some seders when you eat matzah
The table gets quieter than a mouse
But not at Shlomo’s musical seder
Where it’s crunch time throughout the house.
That’s the signal to return to the Haggadahs
And a door for Eliyahu opens in haste
“Red Red Wine” we sing by Neil Diamond
And from his cup, we hope he will taste.
And as the night draws to a close
And the crescendo reaches a peak
Shlomo turns to my dad, his doctor
And for the table he will speak.
“Tonight we heard how our people were freed
And fled the land of the Egyptians
If we overdid, and our tummies now hurt,
Would you please write us all prescriptions?”
©2025 Alan Smason
